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Donna Harper was watching TV with her daughter when she she felt a lump on the back of her head. The 55-year-old hair stylist from Oakville, Ont. had been having unexplainable symptoms for months, but the discovery of the bump left her terrified.
"I went to the doctor, and a few days later, they performed a biopsy on the lump. Forty-eight hours later, I was told I have cancer," the single mother-of-two tells Yahoo Canada. "It went from zero to a hundred really fast."
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Harper is one of the 8,100 Canadians who are expected to be diagnosed head and neck cancer in 2024. The mom to 22-year-old Sarah and 19-year-old Matthew's health journey began months before she was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal carcinoma, a rare cancer form of cancer that makes up 0.2 per cent of all cancers in North America.
'I just thought maybe it's like a virus'
Harper first felt something was wrong in October 2023 when she noticed an odd sensation behind her right ear. “It was ringing but there was no pain,” she tells Yahoo Canada. “I was having a little trouble in the throat, like an awareness when I was swallowing… it's hard to describe. I talked to my doctor, and they ordered an ultrasound, which came back clear. I just thought maybe it's like a virus.”
A month later, Harper was on a vacation for work when the ringing became worse. When she returned she went for a second ultrasound that came back clear, but did little to ease the feeling that something was wrong.
“All of December, I was worried but didn’t know what to do," she says. "What pushed me was the symptoms of ‘awareness.’ There was an off feeling about swallowing at the back of my neck, my ears were ringing a little bit. Then I started getting numbness on the back of my head behind my right ear."
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It wasn't until April of this year that she felt the lump on the back of her head. Things escalated quickly; there two biopsies, one on her lymph node and another on her throat, and a positron emission tomography (PET) scan. Two days after Mother's Day she received the results of a biopsy and began her journey with nasopharyngeal carcinoma.
Looking for answers and life lessons
Harper had one question when she met with her family physician after she was diagnosed with cancer: Why?
“[I asked] have I done anything to cause this? Did I eat or drink something wrong?” she recalls. “I wanted to know why, but there really is no why. Not for this one.”
My big takeaway from this experience is that I’m allowing myself to be helped, to sit back, be present, and be with my loved onesDonna Harper
Harper says she's learned several lessons since learning she cancer — even though she's still coming to terms with the diagnosis.
“My family is incredible. I get to stop and absorb. My big takeaway from this experience is that I’m allowing myself to be helped, to sit back, be present, and be with my loved ones," she says. "I strived to be at the top of my job, provide for my kids, and work harder to make more money. But I wasn't present. I was so busy trying to own it that I didn’t see I wasn’t living in the moment. This was a big stop, a huge stop. The cancer diagnosis has given me this huge gift of understanding what's important in life.”
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Soon after the diagnosis, Harper was admitted to a clinical trial for advanced cancers. Her doctors recommended an aggressive form of treatment called Cisplatin. The initial plan was to infuse the high doses within seven weeks along with radiation five days a week. However, the plan was terminated after the first dose when Harper’s kidney and liver function was compromised.
When sisters become caretakers
Prior to her diagnosis, Harper had already been intimately aware of the impact the disease has on a family. Her sister, Lisa Poshni, was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer, when she was 8 years old. At the time, Harper was a support system for her younger sister. Now, at 46, Poshni finds herself in a unique position as her sister's caregiver — a role she didn't think twice about taking on when she learned of her sister's treatment plan.
"There was an overwhelming feeling that made me feel like I had to be there," Poshni tells Yahoo Canada. "It's kind of unexplainable. I needed to hold her hand so she knew it would be OK. I hoped my presence would bring the thought, ‘This has been done before, it can be done again.’"
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Poshni says although she was a child, she still has vivid memories of her own cancer treatments. In some ways, she calls her sister's diagnosis "triggering."
"I knew what she was going to go through because those are the memories I have. I remember being sick, being sensitive to light, and the smell of things making me nauseous. All those little memories that sit in your brain wake up again," she explains.
Poshni calls the experience a "bonding moment" that affirmed her mission to make her sister's cancer journey as positive and easy as possible.
"It’s sad in a beautiful way because Donna was there for me...," she says. "It is a beautiful circle, I guess —in a sad way.”
It takes a village
Aside from the physical and psychological toll, cancer also has a major financial impact. A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal reports that in 2021, the economic burden of cancer in Canada was $26.2 billion, with 30 per cent of costs being carried by patients and their families.
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Harper has felt the financial strain of cancer already. Poshni's sister took the initiative to set up a GoFundMe to help alleviate the living costs and lost wages while Harper undergoes treatment.
“My kids were sitting with their calculators and asked, ‘What do we need to spend on groceries, Mom?’” she explains, noting that the employment insurance sum takes weeks to kick in. “[It] has given us so much assurance that rent's going to be paid, groceries are OK, and we would have gas to get to the hospital."
Harper admits she was hesitant to have her sister share her story online.
“It’s hard for me to ask for help. But I said yes because I've got my kids. And I was blown away—I still don't even have the words to express the outpouring of love," she says. "I know it's money, but it’s also love. Everybody wants to see me and my kids do OK. And that's what this means. I was expecting maybe like $500, maybe $700. And look where it's at. It's crazy. I just can't even express it.”
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Poshni initiatlly set the crowd-funding goal for $10,000. As of July 4, they have raised more than double that.
Knowing that these prayers are surrounding me... it's an incredible spiritual feelingDonna Harper
“It feels like people are there to back you. They're there to support you,” says Harper. “It’s been humbling to realize that people are saying, ‘We want to help you. We want to help your kids feel stability.’”
Despite the challenges, both Harper and Poshni are moving forward with hope and the thought of not taking anything for granted. They say the simplest way for them to sail through this treatment with ease is by staying connected and knowing that they are surrounded by the prayers of their family.
“Knowing that these prayers are surrounding me... it's an incredible spiritual feeling," Harper says.
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'It went from 0 to 100 really fast': Woman diagnosed with rare form of head and neck cancer initially thought she had a ... - Yahoo Canada Shine On
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